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Who am I?

So, I want to definitely get the ball rolling by introducing myself with some general facts…

My name is Isabelle Kim. Actually, I have just recently decided to switch my name to Isabelle from Kayla because I disliked that name for quite some time now. Don’t ask why. I don’t really know exactly why I do not identify myself fully with that name anymore. In fact, I am going through some kind of identity crisis. I am young. Very young. I have just turned 18 on March 29. When I say that I am having an identity crisis, you (probably an adult who is much older than I) would laugh and bluff. I myself am laughing at the thought of me going through that, but I am telling you. It’s such a strange journey. That is also partially the reason why I am on here writing about myself now to discover other aspects about myself.

I was born in Seoul, South Korea and moved to the United States when I was around 3 years old. I would say that I am more American than Korean. Still, I get confused to which nationality I should stick with but that never seemed to bother me much. I used to visit Korea every summer years ago and then it all came to a halt when my parents got into a conflict with the Korean government. I can still speak and understand Korean. However, I cannot understand those advanced vocabularies or idioms or slangs in Korean. The rest of my family can speak more fluently than I can and they communicate better in that aspect. It can be frustrating at times, but it does not bother me much. Oh – FYI – this isn’t the identity crisis I am talking about. Not even a single part of it.

Now talking more about my family… Hmmmm. Dang. I don’t even know where to begin and how to accurately describe my family. Let’s just start with this: I am the baby in the family since I have two older sisters named Julie and Jessica. Many people say I look a lot like Julie. I could never see why and always wanted people to stop saying such a thing. My older sisters treated me like a child all throughout my life. When I say child, I mean literally as if I were their child and not a sibling. Quite ironically, though, they would also view me as their age and always expected me to understand them all the time. This led to countless fights and arguments, in which all of them always ended up with me getting scolded by the entire family. Except for my dad at some times. We all fear our dad for various reasons, which I won’t really share here because it is an entirely overwhelming subject and sensitive to be shared in such a public space. Just to summarize about my family structure and dynamic – chaotic and dysfunctional. It has gotten a lot better nowadays. Only for one reason – physically separated. Once my sisters went off to college four years back, things began to settle down somewhat. And then, all of a sudden BAM everything just went wrong. I won’t go into detail yet because of the reasons I mentioned previously. Point is, my family is very hectic. The energy and vibe we carry in the house is always bouncing off the walls. I mean, I have an older sister with ADHD and my father is always angry and also has ADHD. Then recently, I discovered that I myself have ADHD. I don’t want to label us as those typical ADHD patients who are constantly climbing on the walls like Spider-Man, but I hope you get the point I am trying to make here. That’s just a tiny glimpse, though.

I know I am going all over the place as I am writing this about my initial plan of giving you guys a general outline of who I am. Ugh. That’s a problem that I want to really fix. I lack patience. I didn’t think that I did. Now I see it a lot more. I cannot do all that sitting down and brainstorming what to say with those neat outlines and bulletpoints. No way! I don’t have the energy to do that. I’m the type of person who would often jump into conclusion or simply get started on a task without much preparation. It’s not so great for various reasons. Certainly, I do know that for a fact. I have dealt with many consequences because of that. I guess, from this portion of the post I want to convey this message that I am quite disorganized. I am all over the place with my thoughts and emotions. I used to express them all the time physically by acting all hyper and being the “life of the party”. Not anymore. I am glad that I don’t do that anymore actually. In fact, I’ll be talking about that on another post after I try to figure out a way to finish this.

Goodness, guys. I have TONS that I want to say. So much information and thoughts and emotions and just EVERYTHING are filled inside my small head. All of this is having some kind of nightclub inside there and the party don’t stop. I’m just warning you guys – I tend to go off discourse and start talking about many different things in one post. Hopefully, I will be able to fix that more and more as I publish more posts on this personal blog. And maybe you guys can notice the transformation! That sounds all great. Haha.

Ahhh… I am not sure if this gave you any bit of good information on who I am generally speaking. But, you can indeed tell that I carry an energetic vibe. I want to share that energy with you guys. Bahahahah negative or positive. You’ll feel and read my thoughts from this blog.

Again, ladies and gentlemen – welcome to Isabelle’s life! 😤💕🥰

Short bulletpoint summaries if you lost track of what I was trying to say here:

– youngest one in the family of five people=mom, dad, Julie, Jessica, me

– 18 years old (high school senior ab to graduate online, heck yeah!)

– hold so much power Bahahaha jk it’s just called energy. Mental energy, sometimes converted into physical energy (ADHD)

– Running thoughts and tons of mood swings throughout the day (did I mention that I always get headaches? If not, thats a HUGE part of me as well)

– bit adding onto the previous point=often, my writing style will be scattered as my mind is constantly flowing with thoughts and what I write will not align with what I want to convey and I tend to overthink and overanalyze

– born in Seoul, SK and have not visited my country in a while (think it has been around 8-9 years by now)

– I actually didn’t mention this but I have two small adorable cutie pies. My pupppies!!! Candy and Choco. I will show pictures of them later on.

Don’t forget to enjoy and laugh and make fun of me as you read my posts. I’ll try not to get hurt. I am highly sensitive and have been trying to cope with it by being more expressive with my thoughts nowadays. 😭😇I’m getting stronger for sure.

Author:

Hi! My name is Isabelle Kim. I am here to share with people about myself and my newfound passion for writing. Though, I will stumble across tons of grammatical mistakes and you’ll be noticing them too. Writing is something fun and is an expressive tool for me and I’m sure most of you can understand this. I hope to learn more about you all and for you to learn all the quirks about me🤗

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