This post is going to be short.
Here’s one thing I realized: curiosity is driving me up the wall.
I am flailing around trying to figure out what to do next. There’s about 20 different tabs open on my laptop right now. I’m super restless. I feel this urgent need to discover something new and learn about the world. I want to find something that would inspire me. I don’t know how to stop.
I’m like an engine that will never die. There’s something good and bad about that. Ironically, I’ll never lose energy but I am driven by no energy at the same time. I am so drained.
I realized that I hoard things and get overwhelmed by the many choices that I have in front of me.
For example: I have a little corner upstairs where I can escape from the rest of my family since lol this quarantine lifestyle is really killing me. Up here, I have two boxes of my stuff. Honestly, most of these “stuff” are not even mine to begin with. I just roamed around the house and found them lying around. So, I thought it would be interesting to check them out and brought them up here.
In other words, I am exhausted by my endless curiosity. I’m confused if it’s all because of my anxiety… Hmm… My therapist told me that I have some OCD symptoms. I don’t want to assume that just yet, but I am seriously feeling so out of it. But, guess what?
I’m still going to do something after this. Otherwise, I’m just going to feel so guilty about not doing something to end the night.
Does this make sense?